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She stood above me, her long tanned legs held wide apart, with her arms folded beneath her heavy breasts as she watched me manoeuvre between her pristine white hulls. Her crimson tipped toes curled and flexed as the tide rhythmically thrust my vessel in and out of her narrow space. I felt the point of no return approaching as a creaming wave pushed me deep inside her opening sliding my bows along the slippery length of her starboard hull as I entered her confined opening. She gasped, moist lips parted as I looked up into her sea-green eyes and she saw how close I was to losing control. Then the wave receded once more, sucking me gently backward, allowing the awkward moment to pass. Leaning over I deftly plucked her soggy straw hat from the oily swell, stood up in my undulating tender and handed it up to her with a flourish. Languidly she leaned over to accept it, deliberately teasing me with a glimpse of her creamy white breast-flesh as her bikini top gaped briefly before I was reluctantly forced to meet her eyes once more.

“Is the skipper around?” I asked nonchalantly, trying to establish why an attractive and desirable female was left alone aboard an ocean-going catamaran with no visible male around to guard his territory.

“You are addressing the skipper,” she retorted with a challenge in her voice.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with while I am here?” I asked by way of providing her an opportunity to reward me for my efforts.

She returned my hungry stare with a knowing look and paused while she looked around the yacht basin, came to a decision and then turned to me with a wicked grin.

“Why don’t you come down below? I have something to show you down below that I think we may both enjoy,” she said hooding her eyelids and deflecting my leer as she invited me inside with seductive movement of her head.

I made certain to tighten my bum muscles and suck in my stomach as I heard the unmistakable sound of curtains being drawn as she watched me descending her polished teak ladder into her cosy cabin below. When my eyes adjusted to the darkened room I was thrilled to see she had discarded her sarong and was standing clad only in a minute bikini, the backs of her naked thighs pressed against the navigation table as she beckoned to me to come closer. Then, holding my eyes with her own, she slowly leaned forward and opened her shapely legs whilst reaching between them with a languid movement of her right hand. Helplessly I dropped my gaze (and my jaw), only to see her slide open a tiny drawer concealed between her knees that contained two sausage-shaped cylindrical objects lying side by side on a bed of green felt.

“These two inventions represent the peak of man’s ingenuity….. -and his demise,” she mused, picking up the first tube and stroking with her carmine tipped fingers.

“This!” she said, deftly snapping open the breech with practiced skill and slowly inserting a silver concrete nail into its chamber. “This is a Hilti gun!” “With this in my hand I can place a nail wherever and whenever I wish without having to rely on any man!”

Picking up the second cylinder she lovingly caressed its rounded tip with her scarlet tipped finger. “Behold! Man’s crowning achievement!” Deftly she twisted its base, whereupon it began to vibrate and its end began to squirm and rotate with a buzzing sound.

“I can see in your eyes that you know exactly what this is! So let me ask you this? Why would any woman who can operate these two devices have need of any man?” she asked, contemptuously dismissing me as she snapped the drawer shut with a bang.

I rowed our tender flabbergasted at how I had been humbled and humiliated. Dianne saw immediately that I was agitated as I returned to our boat with my tail between my legs.

“What happened sweetheart?

“I had to fish this lady’s hat out of the marina.” I replied and burst out laughing. “Do you remember the story I often tell about God and Adam?” I teased her.

“Which one?” She laughed seductively as she saw in my eyes what my words were trying to hide.

“Well, God calls Adam and says to him, Adam, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I have given you a brain and I have also given you a prick. The bad news is that I have only given you enough blood to run one of them at a time!”

“Oh dear. What have you gotten yourself into this time? I think you better tell me all about it. But then you know that I have never been the least bit jealous. She said knowingly.

By then I was laughing so hard that I scarcely noticed what her hands were doing until it was too late to reverse the flow of blood.